LivingEigo.com BLOG

What does it mean to connect? When do you know that there is one? And why do people (when they claim to have connection) feel it BOTH WAYS — when there is absolutely nothing physical connecting one being to another? And aren’t there times when the connections feel stronger… and then less so? What’s going on there, I wonder?

In a coaching session  with fellow “coursemate,” Peter, (he was coaching me) we talked about connection. It was our first time talking one on one, outside of the course we had both been taking for a couple of months. I knew he was a nice guy but I was a teeny bit afraid that there was a chance we would not “connect.”

So he got me thinking after the call. (It turned out to be way longer than we both had planned– so much to share, it turns out!)

It made me think, “Isn’t it interesting that we notice the “un” connectedness of connection — as if we were standing with pockets of void around us until we decide to acknowledge and/or embrace one another’s existence?

So does this connection come and go? Is it “there” one minute, then “not there” the next?

“Ummm, we never really connected.”

“The connection wasn’t there, you know.”

“Let’s connect sometime!”

Maybe we’ve talked about people we weren’t comfortable with or talked to people we planned to get together with later on. Is connection really just the act of two ends meeting (as is implied in the lines above)?

Peter slipped in this observation ever so casually when I whined a bit about not being able to catch up with how more experienced a friend was. He suggested that it was not trying to get on the same level with people; people who have more “knowledge” or more “experience” or more “understanding” that is “making” the connection stronger. The moment that we realize that “we are the same person,” not higher or lower, older or younger, or more or less “qualified” — that we feel and reveal the connection that is and has always been there. Strong. Steady. Unwavering. Not more “present” today or less “present” yesterday.

So if we are neither plugging into or unplugging from one another. That’s a pretty cool thing to know. If it’s just a matter of not being able to see it all the time. That’s also a good thing to know. It’s easy to know (well, relatively easy) that we are not our “money” or our “car” or our “family,” even.

But how are we when comes to fundamental values like “love” or “trust” (or the virtue of “connecting” with people, even?) Can we say the same? Am I not my values? That’s what makes me, ME, right? or maybe not. 

Values. Are they not also “outer coats” that we were told (with the best of intentions) protected us from the cruel elements? Are they not just that — “coats” to protect us. They are not the ME — the “being” that remains intact no matter what coat we are wearing.

Does it make more sense to think that we are unconnected beings trying to connect, or that we are connected beings that are tricked into feeling that we are not?

This is the concept that I am turning over in my mind today.

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